María Claros

Chapters 1 and 2

After reading the first two chapters, I found it extremely interesting and dynamic. Good profile of the characters, very exhaustive, defined, and dealing with both an external and emotional sight. & Nbsp; You project enthusiasm for human interaction, and I find certain stereotypes about the physical and the relationships, but it gives a very youthful touch and Passionate to the story. Well curated the mirror characters between Susana and Athanasius. On the other hand there is a good gear, well sequenced, with intense and fast-paced dialogues. So much so, that if these chapters were part of a book, the reader would remain hooked without remedy until the end. & Nbsp; Very loaded also with symbolism, scientific allusions, and driving the imagination to the stratosphere of the reader.

With all this, my conclusion will surprise you: it is a tremendously difficult novel to bring to a successful conclusion. You have captured so much passion in the first two chapters that you have gutted the false paradox before creating it. That is to say, something that can seem unreal to everyone, you make it real (until chewing), from the beginning. In my opinion, you have started with the literary orgasm, and you have left a very good space for the treatment of scientific ethics, but I think that was not your intention.

Chapters 3, 4 and 5

Well, first of all I tell you that I am not a science fiction reader, but a spectator, and what I have seen has evoked some analogies with the movie "the fantastic four"; on the one hand for the freshness and optimism with which the story is treated, but above all for the young, dynamic characters, and with a certain prevalence of altruistic features that give cohesion to the work group and inspire the sympathy of "the good guys" movie".

However, the thread is infinitely more powerful than this movie. The literary tone you have chosen is very simple and prints fluency and agility to all the writing. I would say even modest, for the phenomenon that you are secondarily deploying. & Nbsp; From the first chapter some futuristic elements are trapped that trap and immerse you in the history and in that apotheosis and throbbing revelation that is Bichitos, and that you have used as a guiding thread.

The theme "effect", seems the opposition of the interests of the social mass, versus the economic interests; the behavior of the market and the reaction of the competences, all under the intellectual and humanistic view that the Transcendental team represents. There is a very attractive linguistic combination that I think you also use as a stylistic resource. This is, the harmonized use and composed of a techno-scientific language, against another blatantly informal and casual language. This hooks, is very cool, and very "cool".

There is another exciting door that you touch briefly and it is the cloning of life. It has mandanga and it is very eloquent that Bichitos the only thing that has not known how to clone at the moment, is precisely, a bug. I do not know if this is an advance of something, but it seems, and cool.

You also get a sensory experience with replicas of ham and perfume, inviting the imagination and "want more". I think that in some way you induce the unconscious to desire, to revolution, and to want to jump over barriers. And this is the case because from a scientific backdrop (which lends credibility to history), you grant a minimum space to political, ideological, and market tyranny borders.

It is like a desire for revolution and thirst for appropriation that arises. As an anarchy of private property, or "libertarian anarchism" in which the freedom of public choice is what builds a new reality. All this is exciting, because changes are foreseen and breathed in everything, even in the relationships between the protagonists. The repercussions that pertain to life, conscience and human behavior are brutal. The transforming potential that society inflicts on the emotional life, and the depth of the context to the psyche, is overwhelming. & Nbsp; Psychology would have a prolific field research in that anarchism that sketches in the first chapters.

Well, as I said, underlying a manifesto to freedom from creativity, and from the immensity of choice. The diffusion of Bichitos allows the impact to be transferred to the mass, although of course, with it, you open up as many possibilities as there are questions.

In your mind, focused on success and reward, it is possible that you are ignoring that the counterpart of everything you have written, is the reaction of opposition and violence, the warlike confrontation, or at least, the imposition of powers, of which there is not a hint in the first 4 chapters.

I find it charming, but if I had to put some flaw in the incipient Transcendental, I would say that it has to do precisely with that candor, the lightness in the treatment of symbolic bastions, such as money, work, power ... & nbsp; tipillas referring to the concept of Bitcoin at the beginning of the novel, but the reader who does not have a pajolera idea (like me), of what that is, may find it improbable, and to be thinking all the time, that the cloning of hams or colognes It's a joke about the option to clone the money.

Anyway, that is a criticism that I almost force, so you do not think I'm an easy reader. The truth is that I love, overall, the proposal of futuristic values, and the staging, so kind and dynamic that you get with your narration. To not be a professional writer, it is truly accomplished. I put you a 9'5.

Chapter 6

"Transcendental", it is not a novel of answers, but of questions, that is the marvelous of its essence & nbsp; (this I think I emphasize in the prologue), already & nbsp; that translates the curiosity to the reader, making that he himself raised the what yes, or why not, of the values with which we are accustomed to live, which supposes a very didactic and healthy way of questioning the established values.

So, the fascination and enthusiasm that it arouses, compensates in a lot the small gaps that may emerge in the reader; Be it conformist, curious, innovative or conservative.

On the other hand, you keep opening parentheses with very simple explanations that give credibility and print a technological edge, like the addition of the temperature scanner, those linked to real characters, the scientific proposals on the cloning of certain organisms or chemical elements ( the "creation of water" is simply great).

On the other hand, it opens a world of possibilities with respect to the collaboration of NASA, (interstellar trips, and replication in transit of fuel, or scarce isotopes for nuclear fusion, such as deuterium); One also thinks quickly about the magnificent door that opens for the donation of organs, and human tissue, which by the way, you also touch it to sotto voce, and leaving the honey on your lips. Knowing you, leads me to think that you have it in the bedroom, as the target of Transcendental: Bone, immortality as a kind of serendipity, which gives meaning to the book and the title. This is very cool, here I would love it when you arrived, you stopped and mentally retorted, with your characteristic optimism and strength. I also liked the way you treat and solve many chrematistic issues, through sovereignty in the currency market.

On the psychological side, I think the comment about the psychological reactivity of the human being to changes is very accurate and endowed with meaning. Equally, they are elements that bring emotion, the addition of the temperature scanner and computer security as a means of financial control. The idea "encrypted economy", as a means to prevent theft is apotheosis. This gives you little hype for how good it is. It is a simple but very powerful idea, to end piracy, theft, or fraud and therefore, with most of the endemic evils of humanity, it would deserve a whole chapter!

Finally, great the part dedicated to the description of the trip by taxi from Atanasio and María. (I'm sorry but I'm a woman, and it's the one I like the most). I think you have chosen the character of Maria very well, giving her an openly sexual and fierce nature, to contrast it with the more contained and rational part of Athanasius. You will know that what you provoke with it is the desire that Athanasius melt all his barriers and end up making love like lions.

Conclusion: I like and I recommend what I said about the first chapter, about which you would not be able to maintain the. You have continued to maintain the excitement and without embarrassing yourself more than necessary. I give this chapter, a 9, 5. There you take it.

Chapter 7

This chapter, the 7th, is orgasm from beginning to end. I have loved the explanation of the behavior of nanorobots for the replication of cranberry juice. Remember the functioning of stem cells induced for the cloning of living beings; working by layers and according to a signal transduction between the cells. One is watching nanodelfines, nanocolibries and nano-horns work, the names are very cool ...

I love it because although it turns out to be the most transgressive, it is not as overflowing as the previous chapters. I suppose that the economic concepts are more convoluted and require a certain prior understanding. In chapter 6 you stop and enjoy it, and with it you delight, and you recreate the details, the potential and the dangers, with greater realism and depth. This is where the expression, "play to be Gods", takes on all meaning.

Good introduction of Lucia. The theme of soul cloning is exciting. It's just what I was waiting for. The electric impulse as the breath that gives life, is also very cinematic and reminds a bit of the mythical Frankenstein. In contrast to all this transcendence and solemnity, and as a good reflection of your temperament, you include in your story the same thing to NASA and Elon Musk as to the tomato of Almeria and the hospital of Cabra. You are a crack.

This is the best chapter of all that I have read; the most exciting and exciting. In the end I will want to be immortal.

Chapter 8

I see it more fluid even than the previous ones; The dynamic and optimistic dialogue of the characters makes it entertaining and easy to read. I have enjoyed greatly with naming. I have loved the reasoning about progress, the impact of technology, the possible manipulation, liberalization, the survival of the human species ... I think it is very well framed and with brilliant arguments. There I find a humanist philosophy, which at the same time serves as a proposal, and an invitation to reflection.

In this chapter you perfectly handle the roles of the characters. I think you know them in depth, and it shows. Athanasius embodies your most analytical and tempered look, while your "creative-vibrant" side gains strength in team interaction, and in brainstorms.

The balances of pros and cons legitimize decisions that involve some kind of moral dilemma, which brings the reader closer to the image of a type of scientist who is permeable to the world, who does not lock himself in a laboratory to experiment, and who Guide predominantly by the use of logic, without giving up passion. I think it's refreshing and arouses a lot of admiration. As for your new "antitheist touch", which of course does not take scientific rigor from the character of Julio, or your novel, I think it is still very strong. In any case, as I think it will be aimed more for young and open-minded readers, there is little chance of hurting someone's sensibility.

Roughly I say it is a very fluid and interesting chapter, with the staging of a well profiled philosophy and increasingly better defined characters. The introduction of the concept of ecophagy prints that fantastic-futuristic halo that adds emotion and mystery to the story.

Chapter 9

I read it without breathing until the end. Where do I begin? Well for congratulating you, of course! You have managed to portray a scenario of antiparadigm courtship, in which sexuality and desire are throbbing, and yet the two protagonists have the traditional roles exchanged. She, the one who dominates and insists; and he, resistant and selective.

Although in the first chapters an Athanasian is shown that, by virtue of his accentuated logical thinking and his capacity for self-control, he has all the power and directs all the decisions, it surprises and wonder that now, an Athanasius is outlined "with scars" " That other man more sensitive, with a broad sense of justice and duty, with iron values that transferred to the field of love, make him someone even more desirable, noble, integrity, and with principles that point to a stable type of couple , loyal, and committed. It is not resistance in itself, what makes it more attractive, but to see that resistance, is actually a wall of protection of an ego so exacerbated, as endowed with sensitivity, compassion, and respect.

I think you have not realized how well you've handled all the elements. With a dichotomous game of strongly marked characters, you have dispensed that nimbus of mystery, with the precise alchemy that can only be immortalized in the best novels. That is, you have created that perfect balance of contrasts, lights and shadows, in which the heartthrob is a melting pot of diverse emotions, being daring and still content, disruptive and also conventional, strong, while sensitive, confident and friend, and still, distant. It reminds me a lot of "Mr. Darcy ", of" Pride and Prejudice ", whose haughtiness was only comparable to its magnetism.

In short, an Athanasius completely "edible" and irresistible. Give cane to your most human side because it gives incredible strength, in addition to adding a brutal temperature to the sexual preliminaries that are guessed.

I also like a lot, how you handle paralanguage to demarcate personalities and attitudes. That he continually says "Mary" is not a coincidence. Do you know that hearing the name itself, pronounced by the beloved person, is one of the most beautiful sounds that the human being can hear? In addition, when it is pronounced by our interlocutor, whether our partner or not, it is a sign of recognition, respect and acceptance. In the case of Athanasius and Mary, it is a chivalry rubric, in which distant respect is clear, but also affection and recognition.

María, on the other hand, overcoming all taboos and sexist clichés, embodies everything that is not foreseeable in a female during courtship: a tireless conqueror, who approaches without discretion, without complicated strategies, using her words, direct contact, massage , and the open proposal of sexuality. It is a rather practical conquest, devoid of the complexity and romanticism generally attributed to women. In a second plane, the story continues its course, and the expected political meeting also offers its "carnaza".

Very interesting the enraged speech of Athanasius, faithfully represents the utopian struggle for justice and the overcoming of human tragedies, against the political power and economic manipulation. It moves the fidelity with which reality is reflected, and also its harshness. It seems that in the course of the dialogue you yourself are contributing light and discovering things. When he says, "I do not have the solution for all the business fabric," you put into practice a heuristic strategy with which you give priority in the search for answers to a pre-eminent objective, which is "the common good".

For the political class, often the common good is not the objective, but the means that can be sacrificed, to obtain a certain objective. "The end justifies the means" of them, is substantially different, to "the end justifies the means" that Atanasio proposes. Acojonante and masterful is paragraph:

"You are used to the concept of collateral damage when you need to resolve a situation of extreme gravity. For us, millions of people die from diseases, malnutrition, hunger ... it is a situation of extreme gravity, which justifies that governments around the world evolve in protecting citizens against the inappropriate uses of new technologies. "

As for the visit to Pope Francis, I think it is also very eloquent and credible, since you make it ooze the same optimism, and that kind of "sanctity", which it exhibits in real life. Now, that you stay well to gustito when surreptitiously, you denounce the wealth of the church. It is well weighted; one of lime and one of sand. Very nice the Pope, but at the service of a materialistic institution and scammer.

Very successful your end, by the way. You leave the honey on your lips, with that scene of Athanasius voluntarily given to Morpheus, but with Maria sitting on his backside.

Chapter 10

This chapter 10 had excited me, and I corroborate it. I think it is quite balanced, considering that you include very technical details, which could easily overwhelm the reader. But it turns out that in parallel, you are touching a sensitive psychosocial fiber, which is none other than the dramatic vulnerability of the human being to cancer. All the processes, mechanisms, and systems that ideas to give body to your story, provide an extraordinary dose of credibility, especially when you mix reality with fiction, using real medical terms, and creating others, (such as "leukocytes soldier") . Also taking care of various paramedical aspects, such as asepsis, anesthesia, or treatment conditions. The explanation of the technological part finds its reason in this wonderful finding, which you manage to transmit with extreme realism.

There is a part, which is really exciting, and in which one clearly imagines what you are describing. I could not explain very well how you did it, but you activate a powerful and immediate spring in the subconscious; Maybe because the human being wants to believe, and because we tend to balance ourselves by situating ourselves in a promising future. You propose it with such vivacity and naturalness, that one has the feeling that this is exactly how it is happening, or at least, the certainty that this is how it is predestined to happen.

This paragraph exemplifies to perfection, that alloy of technical information and emotion that "scientific fiction" that you have been able to formulate without falling into technical excesses, nor utopian.

"The research centers coordinated by Lucía are researching endlessly, creating nanograms for each type of cancer, detecting each type of cancer cell and creating the optimal procedure for its elimination.The main types are already identified. It is estimated that in two weeks 100% is detected, we are one step away from eradicating the greatest cause of death due to the disease of humanity, an achievement through technology, and we are very happy to have been part of this achievement. the scientific community is, we have collaborated tens of thousands of people.In addition, expensive treatments of cancer that were applied in the USA, are no longer necessary, almost any hospital can apply the cure at a very low cost ".

It is an exacerbated optimism that emanates from each phrase, and even then, at no time arouses distrust, nor does it suggest candor as the Vernian texts could. He recognizes himself as a visionary, but so real and so palpable, that Athanasius tears his tears with all reason. (Very well chosen the moment, to show its more "terrestrial" side).

As for the culinary descriptions, I think they bring a note of color and originality. It is a very good resource to resort to the evocation of sensitive perceptions, as they provide that extra of vivid experience, which further reinforces authenticity. Certainly, there is little interaction between the characters, but in this case I think it has deserved a lot, in order to give depth to the more direct message of "Transcendental", which is to exceed all the established limits.

Chapter 11

There I go with my feedback of chapter 11. I advance you that the novel at this point is already very solid, with a good sequencing and timing of the issues. The structure you have indexed is perfect, so your guidelines are guiding you in a more than correct line that keeps you awake and hooked to the reader with a diversity of topics (to which more interesting), and with reflections worthy of the best book of contemporary philosophy.

It is likely to result in some of my conclusions, because in addition your creativity and fluidity are in crescendo, (appreciably from the second chapter), leaving me "passion" and with the recidivism, of having little to contribute.

I thought it was very cool and opportune that right at the equator, you "allowed" Atanasio to partially dissociate himself from his composure, (he has an erection, and his "curiosity" and his "human nature" becomes manifest). In flirting on the beach, erotic power becomes more powerful, in contrast to sexual roles. When the dominatrix calls "boss" whom she wants to subdue, and when the dominant loses her authority in front of her subordinate, exchanging massages and succumbing to the carnal game.

This is followed by a modification of the central features, which gives a greater depth to the characters, allowing them to evolve throughout the story.

I do not stop finding your faithful reflection in the character of Atanasio, and I do not know if it is your intention that the character is your exact replica, but the fact is that it synthesizes very well the "sui generis" mode in which you have related to women from the institute: Athanasius is also patient, thoughtful, and extremely correct. That correction is incendiary and scorching on the sexual plane, because it reminds me, as I told you, to the perfect English gentleman, who without ceasing to be phlegmatic and somewhat haughty, moves away from the uncouth, the vulgar, and the vulgar. Athanasius comes very close (in spite of his disruptive beliefs) to the image of the prince charming of all life; that which nests in the heart and longings of every woman. Even of those that claim to be more modern.

There is also a psychological trait that you share, which gives you enormous appeal: the locus of internal control. (It comes to mean, that you attribute all the weight of luck and circumstances, to the control of your actions). From a realistic point of view, it is somewhat naive and arrogant to think that such a level of control can be maintained, but this to a woman, seduces her by the appearance of force, and by the illusion of security.

On the other hand, the evolution of Aladdin is opening the way to the central story. All the ramifications that depart from it continue to seem miraculous without losing an iota of verisimilitude. I am amazed by your ability to create identities from naming; It is almost ubiquitous throughout the novel, and indicative of the gears of your creative process. There is an important visual and linguistic component in it. In practice you do it the same: you give consistency and detail to your creations from the logo and the name, when it usually happens the other way around; that is, it is the name and the image that usually culminates the course of planning.

Again, you get out of the skin, and out of the limits of the imagination. At the medical level, the achievements and forecasts of Aladdin remain exciting. I have visited the Watson Health, and once again you have infected me with your technological optimism. I am amazed and hopeful, which will surely be extended to anyone who takes the trouble to visit the pages you link. Converting into experience, as you already know, consolidates new learning in memory, and endows it with expression and personality. This video in particular, with its introductory phrase "See discovery where others see questions", is illustrative of the spirit of the novel. Again, a masterful choice of authentic information, which "endorses" the fictitious.

The same thing I say to you of the reference to Hyperloop, whose magnetic levitation, has made me levitate to me from pure stupefaction. I did not know him !! (The train is acojonante, right?). The last concept you touch, (tissue regeneration and revert aging from DNA) is also exciting. The character you have created to thank and explain what you feel with your new legs is not wasted. I assure you that the phrases he utters, have such power of evocation, that the expression "bounce off the floor of illusion", is what one wants to do imagining the moment when that expected medical news arrives.

Finally, he slammed again! The way you describe it, makes the miracle easy to believe

"That night I did not sleep, I wanted to go out to the hospital garden to walk with my crutches, to feel the rain. I sat under an orange tree while crossing my legs, I touched them. It seemed like a dream I did not want to wake up from.

-The next day I started to walk fast. Two days later I wanted to run without crutches and with help I got it. When I fell, I would get up almost bouncing off the floor of the illusion. A week has passed and I feel my legs as if they had been with me these 10 years. Thanks to you I am the happiest person in the world. To be a decade without legs and to recover them in a week is a sensation that I still do not believe in."

Anyway, I loved it.